Yes, you heard me correctly: I am quitting.
I am saying NO to the shit in my life and moving forward towards change. Sound cliché? Perhaps. But when we quit for the right reasons, something inside of us changes, and that is what I’m going for.
Here are a few things I’m quitting…
Needing Approval– Fearing disapproval for far too long has left my identity in the toilet. The truth is, I am of great value and worth, and to be treated otherwise is to slap my Maker in the face. I can already see the changes happening in me just from writing this blog. But it has come at a price. A price I am finally willing to pay.
Lying – I am no longer going to pretend that things are ok in order to maintain the image of a “good Christian.” I’m not talking about real bold face lies here (though I’ve told my share of those); I’m talking about managing others’ perception of me.
A study by Robert Feldman at the University of Massachusetts found that “lying is closely tied to self-esteem. The more people feel their self-esteem is threatened, the more they lie.”
Being truthful has already led to the loss of some relationships. The seriousness of my marital issues has been minimized far too long, and although it is difficult and painful, the liberation and freedom has led me to have less anxiety and more self-esteem.
Denying my Emotions – I have been controlled by fear, anger, and sadness for many years. Fear of divorce. Fear of being alone. Fear of loss. Angry at my husband. Angry at myself. Angry at my parents. Sadness from loss. Sadness from being abandoned. Sadness from unmet expectations. Denying these emotions has only led to them totally controlling my life. It is a miserable way to live. So, I Quit!
Embracing our feelings, reflecting on them, and moving forward with our decisions is the healthiest way to handle our emotions. While this blog has been a fantastic way for me to feel my shit, taking the much needed time to think about my shit is something I don’t do nearly enough. Geri Scazzaro, author of the book, “I Quit,” says:
“To quit denying sadness, anger and fear will lead you to a more mature and healthy life – emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Owning your feelings will also prevent you from projecting your emotions on to others in poisonous ways.”
It’s my cracked conclusion that we all need is to stop pretending and acting like everything is ok. Our integrity is at stake. Joy is reachable. And freedom is real.